MattTriss wrote:

http://cw2.trb.com/news/kwgn-thong-bandits,0,5637090.story

With Pictures

I'll leave it to someone else to point out that this is a hat, because I can't be fucking bothered to look for the link. What I wish to address is the inanity of your headline. If the thongs were clean, at least half the humour flies out the window. And to say "I hope they were clean!" is to display a marked lack of imagination. Personally, I hope they were dripping with cunt mucous. And anyways, to hope something is clean is to ignore your own perilous situation. Any mattriss I've ever known was starchy with semen, vaginal juices, menstrual blood and shitsmear.
*I forgot urine. How could I have forgotten urine? One morning, filled with the joy-de-vivre that only six tabs of extasy and 48 straight hours of genital-grinding, cystitis-producing, mattriss-staining sex can inspire, I swung my legs out of bed, jammed the tip of my prick in the mouth of a  2-litre pop bottle, and filled it halfway with nature's ready-made orange juice. I offered a swig to the feline entity next to me, who lay with her knees bent, spread like soft butter on the bedsheet, to optimize heat transfer across the cool Vancouver morning air and her carmine-coloured, sweat- and lava-steaming sybill-pit (I knelt there later and prayed for a glimpse of the future from the oracle of delphoi, but all I received were a couple of wet cunt farts and the commingled drippings of our lust). I sighed, shrugged fatalistically, pondered the absurdity of life and the uselessness of everything, then I tipped the bottle back, took a wholesome swig of my own sweet piss, and spat it out in a fine spray across her loins. "Does that help?" I asked. "I liked it," she mewed. So I did it again. And again. Till her cunt glistened in the cooling yellow dew, and the mattriss (no, my friends, I have not forgot the mattriss) smelled forever of our follies and my Swiftian, Pythian pee.

Last edited by WilberCuntLicker (2008-06-01 12:01:32)

Now grow some balls and stick up for yourself, grab a brain and find an original post, say something interesting, show us your gaping vagina, or FUCK THE HELL OFF.

outhere wrote:

I did, however rub my face and lips on it and smear it with blood. It was gone the next day.

This is how unfortunate folk remedies get started.