The Brits don't know shit about tea, as is evidenced by their barbarous tendency to put fucking MILK in it.

I sometimes feel that way about tea, even though it is a piss poor substitute for blow.

Taint wrote:

They have to, jesus, because they brew it far too strong.

No such animal.

jesusluvspegging wrote:

The Brits don't know shit about tea, as is evidenced by their barbarous tendency to put fucking MILK in it.

Are you mad?  You can’t have a good cup of tea without milk!  And Lipton tea is nasty shit that sucks ass!  PG Tips is a good tea for everyday use; it’s the standard tea in England but is a bit expensive when you can find it in the US.

The people who don’t know anything about tea are Southerners.  They make a vile abortion known as sweet tea, which has created and ultimately killed millions of diabetics.  A basic recipe for this nasty shit is as follows:

In a large pitcher, place one ounce of Instant Lipton Ice Tea and one half pound of sugar.  Pour in one quart of boiling water and stir until sugar is dissolved.  Add ice, and if desired a sliced lemon.

I agree: milk is a nasty thing to do to tea. And I don't drink Lipton, thank you, or any bagged teas, at that. Most teas in bags come from tea dust, the shake from processing tea, and are frequently old and stale. I buy mine, loose, half a pound at a time from a shop here in San Francisco (Castro Cheesery, anyone?) that enjoys a high product turnover. Or I buy it from Upton Tea Company, a tea shop of which I am fond back in Anchorage which makes the wonderful and overwhelming Samovar blend. I usually have several varieties on hand from single estate Darjeelings to flavored blends.

Last edited by Taint (2008-04-25 16:47:06)

"I stand by my assertion that milk and tea must never be combined.  I have tried the combination, and it is so mind-bogglingly foul that only someone used to eating blood puddings could ever consider drinking it."

You can always tell the Colonials in the crowd.....

I believe you can still have "High Tea" at this and more locales in SF...

Lurker wrote:

I believe you can still have "High Tea" at this and more locales in SF...

Dear God No!  I’ve had the faux “High Tea” experience with a much-loved elderly relative.  She has early stage Alzheimer’s, which must destroy good taste as well as cognitive ability.  I’ll have to repress the memory, in order to remember her as the brilliant, funny, and stylish lady she used to be.  Our next outing will be at a place of my choosing.

Tea is for pussies.  I drink coffee, and lots of it.

High Tea is such a misnomer in the U.S. Anywhere else, it's just a big meal; here people think it's some high falutin' event with stuffy waiters. The whole tea thing annoys the hell out of me. I've been drinking tea since I was six or seven, and other than the fact I love the stuff and drink far too much, I'm dubious of those who have embraced "the tea lifestyle" and who prattle on endlessly about tannins and free radicals. Other than Lovejoy's - which strikes me as just silly and fussy and probably a fun way to spend an afternoon - we have plenty of other places in San Francisco that push the same bullshit - Samovar, on 18th and Sanchez (I think) is one of those places. They've decorated the place with statues of buddhas, for Christ's sake (or Buddha's, I guess).

On the other hand, there's a restaurant outside Hayes Valley called Modern Tea that's supposed to be very good; I know several people who've cooked there and they speak highly of the place.

If it weren't 12:10 a.m., I'd make a cup now.

I do concur: bagged tea is for 'tards.  I'm partial to jasmine or a good oolong, though honestly I've yet to encounter a loose-leaf tea that isn't worth drinking. 

I'm a coffee snob too (and, honestly, I know more about coffee than I do about tea).  I roast my own beans in an air-pop popcorn maker to a roast appropriate to the bean.  Kenyan AA, for example, tends to like a lighter roast than the Ethiopian varieties.

MSG Tripps wrote:

Twinings Earl Grey [loose] and no other.

http://img129.imageshack.us/img129/2029 … reyys0.jpg

[It is possible I am addicted to bergamot.]

Twinings is an excellent brand. Hard to find here in Hendertucky, Nevada, though.

Bergamot is great in handmade perfumes (mixed with vanilla), as well as tea.

Okay, seriously, my favorite tea is still Mate.  I got turned onto it as a kid.  There aren't many subtleties about it, I just like the way it tastes, and it smells a bit like catnip.  I don't know of anywhere around here to do it right, though.  You really do want to use a bombilla and drink it from a mate if you can, just be careful because people will keep thinking your bombilla is some kind of drug paraphernalia when you're not using it.

Taint wrote:

tojo2000 wrote:

Okay, seriously, my favorite tea is still Mate...

Speaking of which, but not really related, years ago I had a boyfriend from Peru who introduced me to mate de coca. Popular in the Andean regions, it gives its drinkers quite the buzz. I haven't had it in years, but I do remember it tasting pretty good.

But, let us not confuse tisanes with tea.

I almost got to chew on some coca leaves when I was a kid, but my mom caught me.  They have a tourist attraction called Tren A Las Nubes in Salta, Argentina that is a train that will take you up to the top of the Andes, where you can buy souveniers from the indigenous people.  I got altitude sickness and so the lady next to me gave me a couple of leaves to chew on.  There've been a few studies on it, and really chewing on the leaves is about the equivalent of having a cup of coffee, both in it's impact as a stimulant and in its impact on your health.

Dmtdust wrote:

Taint wrote:

friend from Peru who introduced me to mate de coca. Popular in the Andean regions, it gives its drinkers quite the buzz. I haven't had it in years, but I do remember it tasting pretty good.

I drink it... and you can order it online.  It soothes the stomach wonderfully.  Chock full of alkaloids, and vitamins.

I buzzed all through first grade on that stuff, until the cook ratted me out, and my academic achievement was never the same. Dusty, please post the link.

Done: http://www.nacionalte.com/coca_mate_100_en.htm

I would like to point out that the plant in question does extremely well as a houseplant. It requires about the same conditions and care that a Ficus does, grows prolificly in pots even with poor soil, doesn't care itoo much f you go away for a week and forget to water, naturaly sheds leaves all year and is easily propigated. And as an added bonus no one has any idea what it is so feel free to put it in the front window. Even my mother the Harvard educated national flower judge would walk right past it if someone had one.

In the case of a coca plant, that's considered a bonus.

Taint wrote:

Johnny_Rotten wrote:

It requires about the same conditions and care that a Ficus does...

Meaning, of course, that if you so much as stare at it sideways or turn the plant around half an inch, it'll drop all its leaves.

I always thought they were fussy, but I recently rescued one from my boss.  It's doing very well and even produces little "berries".

Despite the fine collection of minds here (Lurker excepted naturalment), you people know little of tea (although Tripps, at least, recognizes the superior flavour of less-packaged Camellia Sinensis). Sorry, Tojo, mate (accent implied), as good as it can be, is a beverage, not a tea. Officially, tea is categorized as white, green, black, and oolong. There's also tea made from the stalks of the same plant - my favourite is karigane (it's like sipping on a hot, grassy meadow). More informally, the discussion divides itself into india (pronounced inja), china and japan. To put milk in china or japan is as foul and reprehensible as anal-baby-torture (yes, I realize the danger I'm putting myself in by taking a moral stance on anal-baby-torture but I will NOT be intimidated and I WILL NOT BACK DOWN). To add milk to india can be absolutely lovely. There is no equivocation to be had, my fine, farting friends, so fuck off in advance - thank you. The rules of tea have been evolving for almost 3,000 years; you may search through the literature and find various creation myths, but they all point toward some ancient chink, whose water was polluted with a leaf, but Lo! he drank it anyways. Fast forward to December 16, 1773, the day you Yanquis disconnected yourselves from a physically and psychically enriching tradition (along with culture, in general, oh well, at least you've got Park Avenue and Hollywood), and now you poor paupers discuss the greatest drink on earth with the collective air of sophistication one would expect to find in a trailer park (Tripps excepted). The other thing I find amusing is your attitude toward JLP's beloved "sweet tea" which would be delicious if made very strong with the appropriate leaf. (Come to think of it, I've never been there, but isn't the Southern US the real root of American culture? That, after all, is where the rich and cultured English settled to grow cotton and whip negroes, n'est-ce pas? Even as Europe uncorked its mighty sewer over Ellis Island, were not the likes of Faulkner and Tennessee Williams your leading literary lights? It wouldn't surprise me if "iced tea" mix were a northern invention, made for uneducated slum negroes to quench their thirst when the price of watermelon rose. Anyway, not my field. I'll sign off before I start another civil war.) For god's sake, those of you who think milk and tea are anathema, go out for a nice hot vindaloo or biryani, and have a lovely cuppa chai afterwards. If made well and brewed to a climax, it's a sweet creamy reminder that the Raj will never die.

Last edited by WilberCuntLicker (2008-04-27 05:35:02)

tojo2000 wrote:

I stand corrected.  Tea really is just for pussies.

Meow.

Sorry, but since no one else seems willing to update the front page except Choad and myself, I'm afraid you're stuck with my selections.  It was no more my intention to supplant Dickipedia with Brown Joy than it was to supplant Friday with Saturday.   I'm not the pope.

opsec wrote:

...you're stuck with my selections.  It was no more my intention to supplant Dickipedia with Brown Joy than it was to supplant Friday with Saturday.   I'm not the pope.

It was not a demand for correction or apology.  It was more of an editorial criticism/Sunday morning gripe.

tojo2000 wrote:

BTW, am I the only one who was relieved to click on this thread and not be assaulted with scat porn?

"Brown Joy" is bound to be safe.  A High-Street topic thread about scat porn would have a title like, "Tiffany Enjoys Interior Decorating" or "Looks Like They Need Some Pepto-Bismol!"

See that man on the left, standing on the sidewalk? He probably puts milk in his tea, which is a terrible thing to do to tea.

Taint wrote:

See that man on the left, standing on the sidewalk? He probably puts milk in his tea, which is a terrible thing to do to tea.

Naahh, he probably dips his balls in it.



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