#1 2008-01-21 15:46:56
Can someone please page Cherry to the batphone? I need to get in touch with her regarding my new hobby of knitting. I am sure she would be geeked. I've decided to knit my own beer looter dude scarf. har har.
Anyhow, I don't have her email address anymore, I lost it. Dirck? Can anyone help a gal out?
For those of you who know my email, if you have it send it on. Or make her come out and play here for a bit!
RT
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#2 2008-01-24 18:02:59
I am indeed geeked. Geeeeeeeked! Okay. My problem with your beer looter scarf is that it involves intarsia. Intarsia is basically knitting a picture within...say a blanket or a scarf or a hat. So the scarf's all one color and then BLAM! you've got Mr. New Orleans Heineken 'Fugee 2005 all smiling and shit in the middle. It is very difficult to do intarsia. I swore that for you, my Woggah, that I would try. But I became too entangled in various colors of yarn and really just wanted to hang myself with it after awhile. I was also afraid that Beer Looter would emerge as a big ole blob and everyone would be trying to pick what they thought were leftovers from your lunch off of you.
I failed you, Roger. Oh how I failed. There are internets tutorials on how to do intarsia, but I'm not too good on following instructions when it comes to knitting. Someone has to literally show me.
You want a gimp suit? No intarsia there. Just GIMP. Pour vous, cherie!
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#3 2008-01-24 18:58:18
I always wanted a nice cross-stitch sampler for my home. I see it as having birds and hearts and flowers and crap like that around the edges, then in the middle in that fancy font that you'd expect to see "Home Sweet Home" or "God grant me the patience..." or somesuch, the following lines (from the song 'Ragnarok, by GWAR):
Welcome to Valhalla
Do not be afraid.
Now you are a zombie
And all your friends are dead.
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#4 2008-01-24 19:36:36
jesusluvspegging wrote:
I always wanted a nice cross-stitch sampler for my home.
I cropped, and mounted one I bought from a neighbor's yard sale years ago and proudly displayed it in kitchen after kitchen, move after move...
Be It Ever So Humble, There's No Place™
Last edited by choad (2008-01-24 19:37:56)
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#5 2008-01-24 20:25:40
choad wrote:
jesusluvspegging wrote:
I always wanted a nice cross-stitch sampler for my home.
I cropped, and mounted one I bought from a neighbor's yard sale years ago and proudly displayed it in kitchen after kitchen, move after move...
Be It Ever So Humble, There's No Place™
FTW
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#6 2008-01-24 21:32:11
Cherry Vanilla wrote:
I am indeed geeked. Geeeeeeeked! Okay. My problem with your beer looter scarf is that it involves intarsia. Intarsia is basically knitting a picture within...say a blanket or a scarf or a hat. So the scarf's all one color and then BLAM! you've got Mr. New Orleans Heineken 'Fugee 2005 all smiling and shit in the middle. It is very difficult to do intarsia. I swore that for you, my Woggah, that I would try. But I became too entangled in various colors of yarn and really just wanted to hang myself with it after awhile. I was also afraid that Beer Looter would emerge as a big ole blob and everyone would be trying to pick what they thought were leftovers from your lunch off of you.
I failed you, Roger. Oh how I failed. There are internets tutorials on how to do intarsia, but I'm not too good on following instructions when it comes to knitting. Someone has to literally show me.
You want a gimp suit? No intarsia there. Just GIMP. Pour vous, cherie!
Cherry! Drop me a PM on here and I'll give you my email address. Unless you already dropped me one thru here, in which case I have to go check it (as that is not the email I use most often).
Intarsia scares me. I can make a scarf, and do garter stitch or stockinette. That is it. So far, so good!
RT
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#7 2008-01-24 21:42:37
I need a pattern for a penis cozy. I need to knit one. Plus a wacky ski hat.
Hey everyone, look! I'm finally sharing a photo of myself:
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#8 2008-01-24 22:13:46
Roger_That wrote:
I need a pattern for a penis cozy. I need to knit one. Plus a wacky ski hat.
Hey everyone, look! I'm finally sharing a photo of myself:
http://altporn.net/wp-content/images/45 … nitwit.jpg
Hey, cool! Is that a Linux book on the shelf? Niiiice
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#9 2008-01-24 22:47:41
Roger_That wrote:
Hey everyone, look! I'm finally sharing a photo of myself:
http://altporn.net/wp-content/images/45 … nitwit.jpg
Awesome! I'd do you. But keep the socks on.
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#10 2008-01-24 22:55:04
sic wrote:
Hey, cool! Is that a Linux book on the shelf? Niiiice
Not just any Linux book. It's O'Reilly Linux in a Nutshell. * fap, fap, fap, fap, fap *
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#11 2008-01-24 22:58:00
okay ladies, yer in my territory now. RT, don't know if you crochet, but it's much easier to make a penis, er, dildo cozy that way. It's just a circular pattern adding and decreasing stiches as you go, I' guessing you have seen enuf cock to know how to make one. I used to make them for my drag king friends that liked to "pack" Filled with lentils, they are very convincing under the trousers....also seasoned when you're done with them.
Below are some pics of masks I've made. Also something inspired by the Residents album "Demons Dance Alone"
a close-up, check out the bead-work....
inspired by a song called "The Beekeepers Daughter"
Something inspired by this album by the Residents. I brought this with me to a few shows of the tour featuring this album.... Needless to say, The Residents were very impressed.
This piece has recorded snippets of Residents tunes in it, the recorder/players can be bought at any "Build-a-Bear" franchise, cheap and fun to fuck around with....
The eyeball and blood drips have the devices in them, when squeezed, they play....
one more...
So, ladies, if you have any questions, feel free to ask....I also knit, but just the basic stitches....
oh, and here's a picture of one of my tattoos.....
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#12 2008-01-24 23:22:39
I cleaned that up for you:
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#13 2008-01-24 23:25:41
Damn Boy! You are one quick little fuck. Bravo!
Last edited by Lurker (2008-01-24 23:25:58)
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#14 2008-01-24 23:31:19
Lurker wrote:
Damn Boy! You are one quick little fuck. Bravo!
Heh. MS Paint wins the day again!
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#15 2008-01-24 23:36:26
tojo2000 wrote:
Lurker wrote:
Damn Boy! You are one quick little fuck. Bravo!
Heh. MS Paint wins the day again!
yes, and Bill Gates thanks you.....
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#16 2008-01-25 00:10:30
Those are really cool, Lurky.
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#17 2008-01-25 00:14:12
sofaking wrote:
Those are really cool, Lurky.
You know, there is a current vaccuum in the dildo cozy market, as what's-her-face retired... One of you knitters could become the next Kozy King.
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#18 2008-01-25 00:37:06
tojo2000 wrote:
sofaking wrote:
Those are really cool, Lurky.
You know, there is a current vaccuum in the dildo cozy market, as what's-her-face retired... One of you knitters could become the next Kozy King.
Believe it or not, we're working on it. For reals.
But not knitted.
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#19 2008-01-25 07:27:51
sofaking wrote:
Those are really cool, Lurky.
Well, thanks hon, I'm still looking for the weenies....I did some breasteses as well...
sofaking wrote:
Believe it or not, we're working on it. For reals. But not knitted.
Sofie's right...knitting is way too complicated for something as structured as a dildo cozy. Crochet allows you to make almost anything. Because it's basically a series of knots, you get more control and a stronger finished product.
Right now I'm knitting a simple blanket, not even purling, what a pain....
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#20 2008-01-25 07:30:59
oh, almost forgot, here's a body suit I crocheted, I did this while on Prozac about 12 years ago.....
The fire is from an Alien Skin filter.....
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#21 2008-01-25 12:36:59
Roger_That wrote:
I need a pattern for a penis cozy. I need to knit one. Plus a wacky ski hat.
Hey everyone, look! I'm finally sharing a photo of myself:
http://altporn.net/wp-content/images/45 … nitwit.jpg
Wot's that smell? BULL SHIT?
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#22 2008-01-25 14:23:26
Lurker wrote:
Damn Boy! You are one quick little fuck. Bravo!
Holy shit. This wins my vote as best (and most shocking!) thread ever.
Lurker knits!!!! That stuff is awesome. I WANT the eyeball!
I haven't learned to crochet yet. I have hooks though. I am just starting the knitting thing. So far I have made a scarf. Exciting, no?
Penis cozy is next on the list. The bf seems oddly excited about it. I would like to find one with a USA pattern (or even an Aussie flag one).
He keeps showing me photos of old ladies in chairs with wrinkles knitting. I think he has a grandmother fetish (the bf).
RT
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#23 2008-01-25 14:25:01
Dmtdust wrote:
Wot's that smell? BULL SHIT?
Ya think?
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#24 2008-01-25 17:50:12
If the stitch is tight enough on your scarf, you can always needle felt Beer Looter Dude on your scarf.
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#25 2008-01-25 17:57:36
RT wrote:
Holy shit. This wins my vote as best (and most shocking!) thread ever.
Lurker knits!!!! That stuff is awesome. I WANT the eyeball!
Since we're fessing up. I also knit. I should say, I know how to knit. My grandmother taught me so she could take breaks from it. Plus, with my nimble young fingers, I could make significant progress.
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#26 2008-01-25 20:27:35
...am I the only dude here who doesn't knit?
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#27 2008-01-25 20:28:43
Yes RT, Lurker knits, he is also a very good cook. Great husband material for the right man, oh, wait, I'm already married....
Anyway, I found the lesbo prosthetics....
BTW, For those of you that DO knit or crochet (Hey Phreddy, my grandmother taught me as well) this site may interest you. I found it while looking for smut. When you see the name you will understand. I still can't figure out why they chose that name.
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#28 2008-03-02 22:09:10
HEY LURKER - bringing this thread back to the front.
Ok, so now I can crochet quite well.
I canNOT find a pattern for a penis cozy that doesn't require knitting. Too much effort! Do you have a pattern for the above lovely penis cozies you've posted here? I want to make one. The bf really thinks these are hilarious. I want to do one in USA flag colors.
RT!
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#29 2008-03-02 22:20:33
Roger_That wrote:
HEY LURKER - bringing this thread back to the front.
Ok, so now I can crochet quite well.
I canNOT find a pattern for a penis cozy that doesn't require knitting. Too much effort! Do you have a pattern for the above lovely penis cozies you've posted here? I want to make one. The bf really thinks these are hilarious. I want to do one in USA flag colors.
RT!
Hey RT, how's it hangin' ?
It's just a matter of starting in a circular pattern, adding stitches and/or dropping them as you go. It's really simple. Try making the balls first, (stuffing them just before you finish) once you get that down, a shaft is quite simple...The great thing about crochet is that you can unravel if it's not quite right. Knitting is a pain in the ass to unravel. I know the interwebs is a wild and crazy place, but I doubt there is a pattern....I couldn't follow a pattern to save my life....at least not a crochet pattern....Let me know how it goes.
Ciao, Lurkey
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#30 2008-03-17 20:29:12
Hey RT! Where are you? How are you? I revived this link 'cause
I'm gonna start crocheting one of these. Should get it done by Halloween....
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