I really became fascinated by the competition in 1998. I was in Paris when the Israeli tranny won, and immediately her video started appearing between matches on the Jumbotrons set up around Paris for the World Cup. The song could be heard coming out of shops and bars, and went into heavy rotation on MTV Europe.

Last edited by fnord (2014-03-15 19:19:28)

The song Austria will try to win with this year.  Austria hasn't won since 1966

Polish Cheese!

Swiss Cheese.  An example of the trend towards bluegrass influenced songs.  With the sound off you would think you're watching Southerners perform.

Last edited by fnord (2014-03-19 03:55:15)

Latvia’s choices were so awful it must have been difficult to choose the worst act to represent the country.  Below are one person’s top ten; the song Cake To Bake was chosen as the winner.

Below is another possible choice the people of Latvia had.  Odd effects and the vocalist used the “Cher Noise” in his voice for the whole song.

Georgia's entry is just strange.  There are cliché Native American sounds and C&W cords.  Add extras wearing American and European costumes, weird subject matter, and this song is a mess.

I'm giving you guys a second helping of boobs, in the form of Poland's entry [Donatan & Cleo - My Słowianie - "We Are Slavic"] translated into English. Don't say I've never done anything for you!

Denmark's entry consists of a bunch of mulattoes and quadroons doing a horrible 70's style bubble gum pop number.

Last edited by fnord (2014-04-27 04:43:47)

Russia, Armenia, and several other arriviste countries to the festival want Austria's entry, Ms. Petite Cunt Sausage, removed.

As expected Latvia isn’t going on to the finals, but the guys are cute!


The Tolmachevy Twins from Russia always give off an incestuous lipstick lesbian vibe in their videos. The audience cheered when the girls performed, but booed when it was announced Russia had made to the finals.


Ukraine also made it to the finals. Will there be fireworks?


This year’s theme seems to be odd circus props. Azerbaijan’s entry doesn’t sing well in a live performance, but the acrobat provided something to focus on other than the song.


In keeping with the circus theme, Montenegro’s forgettable song was accompanied by a lovely skater.

Last edited by fnord (2014-05-08 04:24:27)

Miss Petite Cunt Sausage is the crowd favorite to win the competition!



I don’t care for Greece’s entry or their song, but they’ve been faithful to this year’s circus theme.

The Swiss and Maltese rednecks will also be in Saturday’s finals. The Romanian act had a nod to the circus theme by having the female singer vanish (it was a hologram) and then reappear on the other side of the stage. The sexy Polish girls will be in the finals. TEO the Belarusian Cheesecake also made it to the finals.

Kinky Lithuanian Cheese!

Lithuania didn’t make it into the finals on Saturday.  It’s a shame, because the S&M theatrics in this performance were fun. I hadn’t noticed Lithuania until tonight. Lithuania assigned a song, which was performed in a number of styles by people wanting to represent the country.  The winner wasn’t that interesting until she and her dance partner upped the kink factor.

Edited to replace link for Kinky Lithuanian Cheese. As usual, GooTube got a hair up its ass and pulled a perfectly good link while leaving links to the same material up. There needs to be a less uptight, go to link source alternative to GooTube.

Last edited by fnord (2014-05-13 16:30:42)

Conchita Wurst of Austria has won! People are unable to vote for their own country's act, so traditionally neighboring countries vote for each other. Ukraine gave the majority of its votes to Austria this year instead of to Russia. This was the deciding factor in Austria's win. Russia and several of its former colonies returned the favor, and the Russian and Ukrainian entries both scored lower than they otherwise would have. The Russian lipstick lesbian twin lovers scored very low because they were voted against by a number of people in order to punish Russia.

A Few Notable Past Winners:

Lordi in 2006

ABBA in 1974

LuLu in 1969, now best known for being a running joke on Absolutely Fabulous.

Celine Dion won in 1988, singing for Switzerland. She was then only known in the Francophone world. This win made it possible for her to inflict her horrible music on the Anglophone world.


Eurovision is the European equivalent of the Super Bowl, especially for the Gay community. It’s an occasion for huge parties in bars and in people’s homes.

Last edited by fnord (2014-05-11 02:25:55)

And now, the post-event commentary. As noted, the annexation of Crimea overshadowed the contest this year. Votes from Crimea were counted as being from Ukraine rather than from Russia, as the infrastructure for telephone voting had been set up before the invasion.

Now for the inevitable parodies of Conchita and the winning song. These are just a few of the many that have already been done.

A rather dramatic sign language interpretation.

Emmeran wrote:

Haven't we heard this before and can't we be done?

www.youtube.com/embed/mL7n5mEmXJo

Not if the image quality and copy continue to improve we can't.