#1 2012-12-06 11:42:18

I just signed up.  Can you folks give me some helpful suggestions on how to make the most of my high street experience?

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#2 2012-12-06 12:33:32

Or is this another one of those uptight sites?  Are you the kind of people that go to a work party and talk to the same poeple you work with - about work.  Or are you just pathetic assholes?

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#3 2012-12-06 13:19:27

Let me introduce you to Shartleby the Scrivener. I suspect you two have a great deal in common.

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

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#4 2012-12-06 13:41:54

Lip shitz wrote:

Or is this another one of those uptight sites?  Are you the kind of people that go to a work party and talk to the same poeple you work with - about work.  Or are you just pathetic assholes?

Pathetic asshole is subjective, so I don't know, maybe. Most of the regular participants first encountered one another on cruel.com, launched in 1996 and didn't know one another before they arrived. Then as now, the inmates rule the asylum. Cruel.com's orphans created this site in 2007.

Last edited by choad (2012-12-09 19:53:31)

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#5 2012-12-06 14:04:51

I've been lurking, nay, skulking for some time.  All i know is everytime i read shartleby's posts, my rectum draws up so tight that you could slice washers off it.

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#6 2012-12-06 14:27:48

We really don't like unclear metaphors.

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#7 2012-12-06 14:55:00

I know what cha mean.  Unclear metaphors are like a half eaten bug in your 4th of july potato salad.

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#8 2012-12-06 14:57:33

Htom Sirveaux wrote:

We really don't like unclear metaphors.

And poor capitalization.

I'm guessing this doesn't belong to Wilber, I say more like a Tall Polly trying to be cool one step too late.

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#9 2012-12-06 15:03:01

I think what i'm really trying to ask is this;  since i am a minimalist and i'm also interested in efficiency, how do i maximize my minimalism?

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#10 2012-12-06 15:06:31

Lip shitz wrote:

I think what i'm really trying to ask is this;  since i am a minimalist and i'm also interested in efficiency, how do i maximize my minimalism?

suicide?

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#11 2012-12-06 15:07:33

Relax chillen, i am brand new.  I'm not anyone who has been here before.  I have been on another 'rodgers site',  but not this one.

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#12 2012-12-06 15:16:42

Lip shitz wrote:

Relax chillen, i am brand new.  I'm not anyone who has been here before.  I have been on another 'rodgers site',  but not this one.

Then CAPITALIZE your fucking I's

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#13 2012-12-06 16:03:08

What's that smell?

Wasn't me.

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#14 2012-12-06 16:08:25

Bigcat wrote:

Lip shitz wrote:

Relax chillen, i am brand new.  I'm not anyone who has been here before.  I have been on another 'rodgers site',  but not this one.

Then CAPITALIZE your fucking I's

I told you i was a minimalist, you fucking toad stool.  I shan't waste my caps on people that would bite a big man's goober for a shiney red apple.

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#15 2012-12-06 16:17:12

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

What's that smell?

Wasn't me.

Good name.  As far as the smell goes, you don't happen to have a moustache do you?

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#16 2012-12-06 16:19:30

Definately not Polly, too witty.

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#17 2012-12-06 17:28:01

Welcome Shits.  Good luck on surviving your turn in the barrel.

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#18 2012-12-06 17:40:42

Lip shitz wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

What's that smell?

Wasn't me.

Good name.  As far as the smell goes, you don't happen to have a moustache do you?

Moustache, flavour-saver, and a cess-pit in the north-40 where I drown other people's sock puppets.

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#19 2012-12-06 18:56:17

When will sock-puppet season end?  It seems to have begun to coincide with deer season over the last few years: everyone stays inside, fucks the neighbors wife and pretends to be someone else on the interwebs.  Oh, the humanity...

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#20 2012-12-06 19:14:45

Emmeran wrote:

When will sock-puppet season end?  It seems to have begun to coincide with deer season over the last few years: everyone stays inside, fucks the neighbors wife and pretends to be someone else on the interwebs.  Oh, the humanity...

In Pennsylvania, at deer killing time, it is best to stay inside for neighbor wife fucking duties. It's cold outside and there are hunters everywhere.

Summertime is for fucking neighbor's wives outside, preferrably in thier pool or on thier jungle gym.

Last edited by Bigcat (2012-12-06 19:15:06)

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#21 2012-12-06 20:12:29

Keep your filthy paws off my sock puppet, perv.  It loves me.  Yes it does.

It has a moustache too, but it's not like a tom selleck moustache, it's more like a romanian cleaning women moustach......

If it doesnt do what i tell it, it gets the hose.

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#22 2012-12-06 20:33:16

Lip shitz wrote:

Keep your filthy paws off my sock puppet, perv.  It loves me.  Yes it does.

It has a moustache too, but it's not like a tom selleck moustache, it's more like a romanian cleaning women moustach......

If it doesnt do what i tell it, it gets the hose.

We are planning an ancillary forum for illiterates, but it's not yet implemented. Until it is, you might want to practice a while longer on 4chan, or Reddit, or wherever you cut your baby teeth.

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#23 2012-12-06 20:47:26

Or you could hang around for a while. If you're patient and pathetic Tall Paul might send you a love letter.

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#24 2012-12-06 20:58:59

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#25 2012-12-06 21:01:22

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

Or you could hang around for a while. If you're patient and pathetic Tall Paul might send you a love letter.

Poor Polly. The confusion the little princess has had to deal with in recent days.........

I hope this works out for him, honestly I do.

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#26 2012-12-06 21:16:13

Hi, Lips.

If you're seriously asking for advice, the best thing you can do is bring new content.  This has become extremely difficult, even for those of us who've been doing it for years.  You gotta get up pretty early etc.  If you've truly been lurking then you know what kind of stuff is up High-Street's alley, so to speak.

Also, whatever you do bring to us, expect everyone to declare it below par and Fail and old and ream you from one end of the internet to the other.  And after that, try again.  Or GTFO.

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#27 2012-12-07 04:02:56

Lip shitz wrote:

I have been on another 'rodgers site',  but not this one.

Heh.  "Rodgers".

Well Lips, lemme tell you why we may detect a whiff of Bromhidrosis.  First of all, your timing is pretty inopportune given that we very recently had a rather clumsy unwashed sock.  I can only assume you've browsed the board before joining so are well aware of this.

Secondly, your post is low hanging chum.  Far too wide-eyed and insipid.  It would be one thing if you weren't familiar with this or "another Rodgers site", but the fact that you claim to be makes this rather transparent.

Thirdly I won't go into because it's not public information.

The thrill is still here... we don't know *who* you are (and this will provide no end of titillating recriminations on the part of the peanut gallery); but we do at least assume you're footware™ of some persuasion.

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#28 2012-12-07 07:47:43

smelly footware™

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#29 2012-12-07 07:47:46

This is all very good advice, especially if I knew what the fuck you were all taking about. 

I swear on my mothers wrinkled meat curtains that i am not a sock puppet.  I would like to hear about 'the most recent sock-puppet incident'.  It sounds like real fun.  I will also enjoy the fact that some will think I am footwear.  If I were better prepared, I may have even encouraged the misconception. 

I come here simply because it is unmoderated, nothing more.  I don't know you fellows, I only lurked enough to answer one question in my mind;  'do the folks here have enough intellect to make it fun', I think you do but I could be wrong.  I don't do butt-hurt.  I don't do ego massaging.

Just for context (and i will not do this again), I will tell you that i am an engineer, my wit is dry and i love to wallow in filthy, foul musings and imaginations.  You will find me to be a true fan of good dirty smut.  But all my input will be words and observations.

If all that is good, I appreciate you opening your home to me, otherwise, I will kick you in the nuts, push you down and make you watch me pork your wives with my exceptionally large penis.

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#30 2012-12-07 10:12:16

Horse?

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#31 2012-12-07 19:07:49

Bigcat wrote:

Horse?

Pig, I think. At least, he wants to pork somebody's wife. Not a kyke or a sandnigger, at any rate. As for the engineer part of things...we could test that. What's your field, Shitlipz?

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#32 2012-12-07 19:15:37

Cates?

It's not a newb. It's prose is vaguely familiar---- Nearly Cuntlicker-esque with a touch of Old England smarmy.

Last edited by Bigcat (2012-12-07 19:18:10)

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#33 2012-12-08 04:30:24

Bigcat wrote:

Horse?

Hmm, it does kind of sound equine doesn't it?

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#34 2012-12-08 05:35:36

No no no. Don't insult Horse, whom I hardly know, but still know better than that. Horse has more force, channeled within a narrower pipe. There's lots of rushing and gurgling, like water in a garden hose, but then it hits a stricture and the _____ _____ creates a __________ differential and the hose collapses in on itself, the equations for which we thank _________. Right Shitlips?

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#35 2012-12-08 06:35:03

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

No no no. Don't insult Horse, whom I hardly know, but still know better than that. Horse has more force, channeled within a narrower pipe. There's lots of rushing and gurgling, like water in a garden hose, but then it hits a stricture and the _____ _____ creates a __________ differential and the hose collapses in on itself, the equations for which we thank _________. Right Shitlips?

Plumber mad libs?

I'd guess that most engineers know Richard about hydrodynamics.  Much less plumbers.

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#36 2012-12-08 09:08:39

opsec wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

No no no. Don't insult Horse, whom I hardly know, but still know better than that. Horse has more force, channeled within a narrower pipe. There's lots of rushing and gurgling, like water in a garden hose, but then it hits a stricture and the _____ _____ creates a __________ differential and the hose collapses in on itself, the equations for which we thank _________. Right Shitlips?

Plumber mad libs?

I'd guess that most engineers know Richard about hydrodynamics.  Much less plumbers.

Fluid mechanics was a core class in mechanical engineering where I went, pretty sure civil engineers know this stuff too...

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#37 2012-12-08 10:16:34

I am an EE.  I work in oil and gas.  I am 50.  Turn-ons include long fingernails and a short temper.  That's it, I'm not talking shop anymore.    Let's dispense with the pleasantries, shall we?

Who is who up in this hoose?  Who are the people that came from that other site?  Are most you guys collecting social security?  Are there any young, gullible people here?  Who is the guy that takes it on himself to prove all the negative stereotypes?

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#38 2012-12-08 10:21:20

.....Horse has more force, channeled within a narrower pipe. There's lots of rushing and gurgling, like water in a garden hose, but then it hits a stricture and the (rectum) (constricts) creates a (high pressure explosive) differential and the hose collapses in on itself, the equations for which we thank (Cornhole McGee) . Right Shitlips?

FTFY

Last edited by Lip shitz (2012-12-08 10:25:29)

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#39 2012-12-09 04:51:11

Chuck Schick wrote:

opsec wrote:

I'd guess that most engineers know Richard about hydrodynamics.  Much less plumbers.

Fluid mechanics was a core class in mechanical engineering where I went, pretty sure civil engineers know this stuff too...

Then I stand corrected.  As far as academia, I'm little more than a high-school graduate.   

To my pride and shame,  I was classified as a Sr. Engineer and SME by a Federal agency 3 years ago based on specific industry experience.  Pride because I was able to do the job, but shame that everyone I worked for was smarter than I was, some seriously smarter.  That had never happened before and hopefully will never happen again.

Fortunately it was only a year contract and now I'm back in MS Enterprise support, and my ego is recovering nicely.

Enjoy that postsecret moment, you won't get another.

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#40 2012-12-09 07:27:11

Thanks for the autobi. I've decided to include an expanded version of it in my new novel: Confessions of an Impostor. (Nah, I'm just kidding. You're alright, kid. Here's a nickel, go buy yourself a quart of high-proof alcohol. [Sorry - sur-optimally vaped and majoresquely opiated and watching cartoons with one hand |my eyes are sore| as I type with the other - and I've obviously begun to imititate Bender {Oh well, could be worse, Bender's prime directive coincides with my own, and his modes of expression are refreshing, now let's see if I can still remember what I was talking about:}]) Oh yeah...I'm not sure I'd be too proud to be classified as a SME, all things considered, anymore than I'd care to be classified as a building, a parking lot or an underpass, but Sr. Eng. has a less than shameful ring to it. Sorry to hear you've devolved to Support. Do you have to wear a uniform?

Last edited by WilberCuntLicker (2012-12-09 07:29:33)

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#41 2012-12-09 11:40:26

opsec, wilber, I understand the language you guys speak.  Now, I can see why some may think I am a sock puppet.  We work in very similar environments.  If we happen to work in the same place or know the same people, please take every opportunity to STFU.  And I'll do the same.

I have also been a sme and a software support guy, but now, i am back in engineering, which is as it should be.  In engineering, 2 + 2 always equals 4, and i am totally comfortable with that concept.

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#42 2012-12-09 11:41:52

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

Do you have to wear a uniform?

Does self-loathing and shame count as a 'uniform'?

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#43 2012-12-09 12:27:14

Lip shitz wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

Do you have to wear a uniform?

Does self-loathing and shame count as a 'uniform'?

Only if you wear it with a sense of duty.

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#44 2012-12-09 17:42:32

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

Do you have to wear a uniform?

I did once, but was threatened with Article 134 of the UCMJ.

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#45 2012-12-09 17:47:21

opsec wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

Do you have to wear a uniform?

I did once, but was threatened with Article 134 of the UCMJ.

Remember Skippy's List?

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#46 2012-12-09 19:09:33

choad wrote:

opsec wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

Do you have to wear a uniform?

I did once, but was threatened with Article 134 of the UCMJ.

Remember Skippy's List?

No - but it's a great read.

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#47 2012-12-09 19:23:31

opsec wrote:

I did once, but was threatened with Article 134 of the UCMJ.

If nothing else sticks try this Article.  Some people stay, some people go.
Hey opsec.

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#48 2012-12-09 19:25:04

choad wrote:

Skippy's List

Fucking a, Skippy.

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#49 2012-12-09 19:46:19

Lip shitz wrote:

In engineering, 2 + 2 always equals 4, and i am totally comfortable with that concept.

Hmmmm. I'm not an engineer, but I think you just crossed the bullshit line (again). For the last...what...two decades...fuzzy logic has become increasingly important in quantifying uncertainty in engineering systems. Your incredibly simplistic and overtly-linear assertion may be your undoing, but I'll wait for Chuck Schick, Sr. Eng. Opsec, and some of the other smarty-smart-techy-types to comment. In the meantime, whoever you really are, you might want to darn your sock-puppet a little. I think your heel is showing.
http://bp3.blogger.com/_sW65ilskOC8/R8LeD1lgCKI/AAAAAAAAJfc/cUnX_r6l09Q/s400/ChineseLaborerHoleySocks.jpg
(And what professional would say "...and I am totally comfortable with that concept." That's an exogenous comment if I ever heard one. Hmmmm.)

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#50 2012-12-09 20:18:18

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

Lip shitz wrote:

In engineering, 2 + 2 always equals 4, and i am totally comfortable with that concept.

Hmmmm. I'm not an engineer, but I think you just crossed the bullshit line (again). For the last...what...two decades...fuzzy logic has become increasingly important in quantifying uncertainty in engineering systems. Your incredibly simplistic and overtly-linear assertion may be your undoing, but I'll wait for Chuck Schick, Sr. Eng. Opsec, and some of the other smarty-smart-techy-types to comment. In the meantime, whoever you really are, you might want to darn your sock-puppet a little. I think your heel is showing.
http://bp3.blogger.com/_sW65ilskOC8/R8L … ySocks.jpg
(And what professional would say "...and I am totally comfortable with that concept." That's an exogenous comment if I ever heard one. Hmmmm.)

Engineering 101 - everything has a tolerance. Engineers make useful things, none of which are exact in any way. Exact is for scientists who believe their own bullshit.

Lips may have meant it as an expression that things are more defined in engineering,  but it does have a little odor.

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