Noam wades in....

http://www.guernicamag.com/blog/2652/no … ion_to_os/

choad wrote:

http://www.guernicamag.com/blog/2652/noam_chomsky_my_reaction_to_os/

Noam Chomski wrote:

We might ask ourselves how we would be reacting if Iraqi commandos landed at George W. Bush’s compound, assassinated him, and dumped his body in the Atlantic.

Long Island Sound, next to Luca Brasi and the fishies? Politically, he's already dead, Jim.

https://cruelery.com/sidepic/CTapologizes.jpg

Wait, Osama Bin Laden was a political leader of Pakistan?

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Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

I have been trying hard to get a handle on this most enigmatic of world figures. When I heard he had 100 usb sticks in his possession I finally felt I understood.

It is really difficult to get the right memory stick isn't it? Between us my wife an I have, well not perhaps 100 but almost 10. Different colours, different capacities and so on. In contrast I read that he had, to hand, only one AK47. There is clearly something that munitions are getting right and electronics manufacturers are getting wrong. Someone should organise a video conference.

No one ever trades up their AK47 do they? There is, for example, no AK48. Although one should presume that there were 46 previous AKs before they finally hit on the golden formula of the 47th. I know it is a cliche but as my mother always says, 47th time lucky, referring in this case to my sister's most recent job change.

I do not anticipate an AK 47.2 for example and certainly no sudden upgrades slowing the whole system down just as you are preparing to plug some infidel in the back of the cranium.

I wonder if we are supposed to infer something sinister from Bin Laden's predilection for data? I have always found those with more than one mobile pleasantly gangster. If middle class I assume they have affairs. If a white van driver that they have several dodgy deals on the go.

But imagine the scene, you are led blindfolded to the compound of the world's most wanted man. You look about. Where in the wilds are we? you think. (Actually it's Abbottabad, the Reading of Pakistan). You are led into the inner sanctum and there he sits, arrogantly, surrounded not by armed men and beautiful women but his brother-in-law and 100 usb memory sticks... They leaf through a curling edition of Which? magazine, Peripherals special edition. The fiends.

Perhaps the suggestion is that, shock horror, he's got a lot of data on us, sticks full! Maybe he just downloads a lot of music, illegally I am afraid we have to assume.

The final word must be saved for the nearby elite Pakistan training school. No more can the Sergeant major bark at lazy recruit Musharaf..."You lazy, useless worm. This is an elite training facility. We are looking for the most sophisticated and dangerous terrorists in the world. What do you think, you can just sit here playing with your USB sticks and he will simply turn up on our doorstep?"

You can't make this stuff up. Although in the case of the American administration you can.

Although in the case of the Pakistani administration you can.

Although in the case of...you can fill in the rest.

Thank you
I suck hot curling irons.

Last edited by fnord (2011-05-10 14:15:10)

Johnny_Rotten wrote:

Cocklesniff weighs in.

Abbottabad, the Reading of Pakistan

Look what the cat drug home, JR.

Roger_That wrote:

Thanks JR.  You brought the troll over.

Some of us still have functioning mammaries, Smitty. Hope you got suitably soaked, stroked and poked in the tropics.

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phoQ wrote:

What a shame.  He would be really hot if he weren't an insane freak.

fnord wrote:

What a shame.  He would be really hot if he weren't an insane freak.

You say that as if it were a bad thing.

GooberMcNutly wrote:

Emmeran wrote:

https://cruelery.com/uploads/11_disappe … linton.jpg

Women aren't allowed in the war room in Israel?

It's a newspaper that refuses to publish pictures of women.  You know, because they'll drive the men-folk wild with lust and make them do bad things.

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Well, they sort of apologized.  It was one of those "I'm sorry you feel offended" apologies.

The Pentagin recently caught up with the times and released one of them newfangled Silent Movies.  The footage apparently shows a fallen leader, holed up in his cave (apparently in Abbattobad 'cave' is actually local slang for million pound armed fortress so that clears that little misunderstanding up), folornly watching reruns of his own once popular reality series: I'm a Jihadist Get Me Outta Here.  For those of you who only read blogs, apologies for the length of that last sentence. It. Was. Long.

How sad it is to see a once world-famous figure, sealed-off from his people in a secure compound, impotent to act, obsessed only with image.  But enough about Barack Obama, back to Bin Laden.

True he seems a little hoary as the poets once might have written, yes bedraggled through a razor wire hedge backwards.  Or is that the US military's replacement for waterboarding?  Still a very popular passtime on coastal resorts, waterboarding not torture.  Oh, it says here they are the same thing.  I suppose outdoor sports aren't to every child's taste.

But not at all pathetic.  The thing is the life of the terrorist is mainly tedious self-regard.  They are after all political celebrities. 

Like celebrities they don't have any real abilities but they somehow manage to tap into some mysterious public mood, for example being blonde, wearing meat hats, going bald and losing it outside your mansion (in the case of the celebrities).  Blowing up thousands of innocent people just trying to make a living for their families in the case of the Jihadist.  Terror is the modern celebrity or perhaps the next big thing after celebrity, and in this sense Bin Laden was just keeping an eye on his profile.

He was, after all, nothing but an ailing actor on his uppers trying to recapture one more famous close-up.  And in a way there is something Sunset Boulevard about the whole thing, or better Abbattobad Dirt Track.  I was once great, he mumbles into his potnoodle stained beard. I can be great again!  Inshallah.

How fitting was his final close-up.  A leaked set of horrendous photos showing what busting a cap in the head really entails.  Then pixellated for the sake of belated decency.  Belated decency is the option I always go for.  Much better than actual decency.  This way you can do what you like and then apologise afterwards.  In England we call it being polite. 

So there is his last close-up fall all to see.  A corona of unpleasantly dark red stuff, and in the centre a blur, a nothingness, what one might call an enigma.

When I heard he had no internet link part of me I finally felt sorry for him.  If you are an international terrorist whose image is all, how gauling it must have been to be unable to track how many hits you are getting on Google.  Imagine having his profile and not being able to Tweet.  No Facebook, then again I am not sure he did friends, and worse for a man never without a opinion (always the same one, the West is the devil kill all infidels) he could not even blog.

Anyway what the video really shows is something more everyday that we have all experienced.  You find yourself in a nowhere town with nothing to do.  The room you booked is less than well appointed. The hotel compound, aside from the much-vaunted Burning Area which you have to admit is impressive, lacks shall we say inspirational touches?  Your annoying brother-in-law won't leave you in peace.  You can't get a phone signal. And wouldn't you know it, the broadband is down.

What's to do except flick through the million channels of the satellite TV trying to find something to watch?  As usual, there is nothing on. 

As usual there is nothing on. 

The last hours, last months and years of our most hated enemy.  How he would have loved the attention he is still getting.  Perhaps it would have been enough to stir him out of his torpor, dye his beard afresh and go for one last punt at the big time.  Luckily for us, it is too late for that now.

Time for my closeup my Mr. Obama.

Last edited by fnord (2011-05-10 14:10:01)

Actual content:

Scotty wrote:

Anyone else find the change from "multi-story mansion four times the size of surrounding homes" to "squalid lair" in news reports weirdly off-putting?

That's actually one of the most understandable mistakes made in the early reports.  He did have the biggest compound in the area, so people mentally processed "biggest house in town" to "giant mansion".  More understandable than

"he used his wife as a shield"
"it wasn't his wife, and someone else used her as a shield"
"nobody got used as a shield, but someone got caught in the crossfire"
"he had an AK-47"
"he didn't have a weapon"
"OBL has been only a symbol"
"OBL has been involved in coordinating terrorist attacks"
"Pakistan coordinated with the seal team to cut off the power"
"Pakistan is very upset that we didn't ask before acting unilaterally"
"a helicopter was shot down"
"a helicopter was destroyed so it wouldn't fall into foreign hands"
"the seal team had a dog with titanium teeth"
"seal teams don't give dogs titanium teeth"

all being reported simultaneously.  What a clusterfuck.

God, he's hot.  Thanks Gray.

Emmeran wrote:

Reuters wrote:

A stash of pornography was found in the hideout of Osama bin Laden by the U.S. commandos who killed him, current and former U.S. officials said on Friday.

I feel so sorry for all of the camels, goats, and donkeys that were violated for his porn viewing pleasure.  I wouldn't be surprised if he were really kinky for a Muslim, and watched porn involving pigs being violated.

Why do I have the feeling one of the DNA samples came from a cum rag?

You gotta be shitting me.

I hate those bastards. Now when you google for "Seal Team Six" all you will get is some cheap Penguins of Madagascar spinoff.