The Pentagon recently caught up with the times and released one of them newfangled Silent Movies.  The footage apparently shows a fallen leader, holed up in his cave (apparently in Abbattobad 'cave' is actually local slang for million pound armed fortress so that clears that little misunderstanding up), folornly watching reruns of his own once popular reality series: I'm a Jihadist Get Me Outta Here.  For those of you who only read blogs, apologies for the length of that last sentence. It. Was. Long.

How sad it is to see a once world-famous figure, sealed-off from his people in a secure compound, impotent to act, obsessed only with image.  But enough about Barack Obama, back to Bin Laden.

True he seems a little hoary as the poets once might have written, yes bedraggled through a razor wire hedge backwards.  Or is that the US military's replacement for waterboarding?  Still a very popular passtime on coastal resorts, waterboarding not torture.  Oh, it says here they are the same thing.  I suppose outdoor sports aren't to every child's taste.

But not at all pathetic.  The thing is the life of the terrorist is mainly tedious self-regard.  They are after all political celebrities. 

Like celebrities they don't have any real abilities but they somehow manage to tap into some mysterious public mood, for example being blonde, wearing meat hats, going bald and losing it outside your mansion (in the case of the celebrities).  Blowing up thousands of innocent people just trying to make a living for their families in the case of the Jihadist.  Terror is the modern celebrity or perhaps the next big thing after celebrity, and in this sense Bin Laden was just keeping an eye on his profile.

He was, after all, nothing but an ailing actor on his uppers trying to recapture one more famous close-up.  And in a way there is something Sunset Boulevard about the whole thing, or better Abbattobad Dirt Track.  I was once great, he mumbles into his potnoodle stained beard. I can be great again!  Inshallah.

How fitting was his final close-up.  A leaked set of horrendous photos showing what busting a cap in the head really entails.  Then pixellated for the sake of belated decency.  Belated decency is the option I always go for.  Much better than actual decency.  This way you can do what you like and then apologise afterwards.  In England we call it being polite. 

So there is his last close-up fall all to see.  A corona of unpleasantly dark red stuff, and in the centre a blur, a nothingness, what one might call an enigma.

When I heard he had no internet link part of me I finally felt sorry for him.  If you are an international terrorist whose image is all, how gauling it must have been to be unable to track how many hits you are getting on Google.  Imagine having his profile and not being able to Tweet.  No Facebook, then again I am not sure he did friends, and worse for a man never without a opinion (always the same one, the West is the devil kill all infidels) he could not even blog.

Anyway what the video really shows is something more everyday that we have all experienced.  You find yourself in a nowhere town with nothing to do.  The room you booked is less than well appointed. The hotel compound, aside from the much-vaunted Burning Area which you have to admit is impressive, lacks shall we say inspirational touches?  Your annoying brother-in-law won't leave you in peace.  You can't get a phone signal. And wouldn't you know it, the broadband is down.

What's to do except flick through the million channels of the satellite TV trying to find something to watch?  As usual, there is nothing on. 

As usual there is nothing on. 

The last hours, last months and years of our most hated enemy.  How he would have loved the attention he is still getting.  Perhaps it would have been enough to stir him out of his torpor, dye his beard afresh and go for one last punt at the big time.  Luckily for us, it is too late for that now.

Time for my closeup my Mr. Obama.

Last edited by fnord (2011-05-10 14:17:46)