#1 2014-07-11 00:01:04
I've been a member of this forum since its first few weeks and since the fall of www.cruel.com many years ago. I have never shared anything too personal as I thought better of it, however I wished to take advantage of the fact that this is an anonymous forum as I've had a stressful night trying to cope with some excess BS I wasn't planning on. So here we go...
I had protected(condom) vaginal and strapon dildo intercourse(anal) with a fairly well known semi retired porn star 8 weeks ago. As far as I could tell the condoms both were intact when we were finished and I thought nothing of it for a while.
13 days later, I was at a foreign friends going away party and ate what I later found out to be raccoon meat(thought it was lamb), my sense of smell is awful, but from what other people told me, it also smelled pretty horrible. If I knew what it was I certainly wouldn't have ate it.
I suffered no effects until 2 days later(15 days after the intercourse part), when I suddenly started burping and feeling bloated, and soon after developed a 100.7 degree fever. The fever lasted for approximately 48-72 hours, however the gastrointestinal problems ended the same day as the burping started and stopped, though this may be explained by the fact that I take Zantac 150 for acid reflux and the symptoms may have been masked. I started also sweating at night, though the summer had started to really kick in on warm days by this point(first week of June) and I do work a lot outdoors doing some manual labor at times.
A day or two after the fever lifted, I started getting headaches on the back of my head, that seemed to mildly effect my balance and eye sight, this is around the time that I was considering roundworms(raccoon) or HIV as possible causes of the fever and was getting progressively more worried about it. I have determined later that most of the headaches/center of balance issues were likely tension headaches from anxiety, however when I went to the doctor for it(4 weeks after intercourse), they diagnosed me with acute mucoid otitis media(middle ear infection) on my right ear. I developed hives shortly after leaving the office however, I think ibuprofen or mucenix may have been the cause since as soon as I stopped those, the hives eased off after a single dose of benadryl. The headaches and center of balance issues also went away for a while too.
I went to the doctors office at an urgent care center on Thursday July 3, 2014 and had a full physical along with blood pallet(CBC with differential platelet, CMP14+eGF, Hemoglobin, Urinalysis, Lipid panel), as well as an STD check(HSV 1 and 2, HIV 1 and 2, RPR, Chlamydia, Gonorrhoeae). The doctor said the results should be back on Saturday the 5th, even with the holiday weekend).
I called on Monday and the results weren't back. The headaches in the back of my head and mild vision problems returned, confirming it was stress related. I just tried to call at 2PM EST today, and some results were back, but the nurse couldn't tell me anything other than others were pending, and she had to check with the doctor before telling me anything else. I know there is limited/no risk of HIV with proper condom use, however does anyone know why things would be delayed this long otherwise?
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#2 2014-07-11 00:36:53
Obamacare.
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#3 2014-07-11 02:38:53
You need to relax if you can and destress. It sounds like you are winding yourself up quite a bit. Be easy on yourself.
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#4 2014-07-11 06:10:46
Dusty is exactly right. The symptoms you've related don't sound particularly HIV-like. More likely you are having a normal tummy reaction to raccoon tikka masala or whatever it was, and the fact that you couldn't smell it is also a clear indication of some kind of ear/nose/throat infection. Above all, remember that stress can mess you up faster than anything else.
Relax, calm yourself, de-stress. Physicians don't normally delay the sharing of test results because of bad outcomes. In fact they do just the opposite, so buck up and don't worry until you have something to worry about. Even if worse comes to worst modern medicine has transmuted HIV into more of an inconvenience than anything else, especially if it's detected within weeks of transmission.
Please pamper yourself a little so you can get healthy as quickly as possible (so we can pester you to post pictures).
Last edited by Tall Paul (2014-07-11 06:11:45)
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#5 2014-07-11 09:41:42
X2 on calm down a couple notches, that is probably at least partially contributing to the headaches, etc.
As for the results, just be a big ol' pain in the ass. Call every 45 minutes. Be really irritating when you are on the call. Medicos hate whining, so do a LOT of that. Squeaky wheel works in the medical industry just like everywhere else.
Edit-
And until you get your results back, don't fuck any more raccoons.
Last edited by XregnaR (2014-07-11 09:42:17)
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#6 2014-07-11 12:18:16
Thanks guys, trying to keep optimistic here, though it is a shame I can't fuck any raccoons without giving them informed consent.
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#7 2014-07-11 16:06:06
Headaches, fever, bloating. Sounds like a plain old case of low-grade food poisoning, plus an inner ear infection. Did you get the squirts too?
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#8 2014-07-11 16:56:30
GooberMcNutly wrote:
Headaches, fever, bloating. Sounds like a plain old case of low-grade food poisoning, plus an inner ear infection. Did you get the squirts too?
I had a nice loose one, not total shotgun blast spray action into the toilet, but certainly abnormally adhesive. BTW, talked to a medical friend who said that since many of the tests rely on antibodies, the fact I had an allergic reaction that causes mosquito bite sized hives on my arms and chest as a result may have triggered a false antibody count, after the single dose of benadryl, the big puffy ones went away. By the time the blood was drawn I still had small itchy, but not bug bite puffy red spots that appeared on my fingers and wrists for about an hour or two before disappearing on occasion, meaning that the allergic reaction was still occurring at least some.
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#9 2014-07-11 17:00:58
I agree you may have caught something nasty but curable from the raccoon. Your body also has its own unique bacterial flora it has brokered coexistence agreements with over the years. You exchanged bacterial flora with the porn star, and it takes time to clear it out or sign a treaty with it. In the meantime it can cause minor fevers, GI problems, ear infections, zits, or other issues.
I think it's unlikely you have HIV, because the early stage fevers from that are sky high and unrelenting, unless or until your body beats it into temporary submission. My father suffered from inner ear infections, which caused nausea, headaches, balance issues, low grade fevers, and feeling shitty in general. Your anxiety is aggravating the headaches caused by the ear infection.
You'll be fine, and in the unlikely event you have HIV, as long as you take the medicine you can have a near normal lifespan (you might pass away at 76 instead of 78). In the future, do what clergy members do to lower their risk of catching social diseases; only have sex with very young virgins!
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#11 2014-07-11 21:13:12
I've eaten raccoon and it's quite tasty. However, I didn't have strap-on anal sex before ingesting the raccoon meat. I suspect that the coon meat and the latex fragments left over from the reaming probably reacted with each other in some sort of never before seen chemical reaction.
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#12 2014-07-13 12:47:40
Stress-reduction is key.
fortinbras wrote:
I had protected(condom) vaginal and strapon dildo intercourse(anal) with a fairly well known semi retired porn star 8 weeks ago.
I can't be the only one here who wants to know what kind of person has coitus with a porn star and then attends a party where the main course has prehensile fingers and a mask. Are you James Franco?
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#13 2014-07-13 13:21:14
Sascrotch wrote:
Stress-reduction is key.
fortinbras wrote:
I had protected(condom) vaginal and strapon dildo intercourse(anal) with a fairly well known semi retired porn star 8 weeks ago.
I can't be the only one here who wants to know what kind of person has coitus with a porn star and then attends a party where the main course has prehensile fingers and a mask. Are you James Franco?
http://i.imgur.com/OCUEvPI.gif
Unfortunately not, would have been an interesting twist though.
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#14 2014-07-14 21:28:13
Day 11 and still no result/doctor call. I'm def leaning against that it was an HIV issue as they would likely have informed me ASAP if there was any hick-up with that so I don't stick my dick in any porn stars/raccoons(just staying on topic)
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#15 2014-07-15 01:02:06
fortinbras wrote:
Day 11 and still no result/doctor call. I'm def leaning against that it was an HIV issue as they would likely have informed me ASAP if there was any hick-up with that so I don't stick my dick in any porn stars/raccoons(just staying on topic)
Fuck that noise! Did you think we cared about you?? Where are those porn star strap-on pics you promised?
No news is good news in this scenario. Hang tough.
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#16 2014-07-17 14:25:43
So, where's the update? Inquiring perverts want to know!
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#17 2014-07-17 16:36:22
Forti,
First, I'm pretty sure symptoms of HIV take much longer to present than what you describe. From what I know about the disease, most people don't feel anything from it for months or even years.
Second, If the raccoon was fully cooked, I doubt you caught anything from him. Did any of the others at the feast come down with similar symptoms?
Sounds like you have a nasal or ear infection which contributed to a trifecta of weird shit that has led to attacks of anxiety.
Just my completely unprofessional assessment. Get well.
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#18 2014-07-17 16:40:35
Wait, were you pegging the raccoon or was he pegging you?
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#19 2014-07-17 16:44:26
fnord wrote:
Inquiring perverts want to know!
Sounds like you got the promotional Time-Life wrist watch.
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#20 2014-07-17 22:32:09
fnord wrote:
So, where's the update? Inquiring perverts want to know!
So, on Wednesday at 5:30AM I got an email from the patient portal that lab results were ready. HIV negative, HPV negative, Chlamydia/gonorrhea negative, CMP14(liver counts) normal, Hemoglobin normal, Urinalysis normal...all of these were reported back from the lab to the doctors office on July 6th(test on July 3rd), I wish they had told me those to begin with, it would have saved me a ton of quite literal headaches. The ones that had not come back yet, CBC(complete blood count), lipid(cholesterol based), and RBR(syphilis). Given that CBC and lipid are run in a matter of minutes, I was assuming that they lost all 3 tests given that its been over 10 days since the first results were reported to the office, and I hadn't gotten a call yet. Also I haven't had any unexplained growths or sores so the likelihood for the RBR being positive if it does ever show up is near zero.
Today, at 2:30PM, I get a voicemail from the doctors office simply asking me to call them back. I was stuck at work on a 1 hour stretch where I could not leave due to an urgent matter. I finally call the office back and am put on queue for 20 min before the nurse answered while mentally preparing myself that I may have syphilis. Finally someone picked up, and I was put on hold for another 7 min after giving my name. After all that fun, she finally answered, with a readout that all results are negative/not worrisome. The results for the second batch of tests were back on the 11th as they were sent to another lab. Meaning in short, the doctors office fucking sucked.
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#21 2014-07-18 01:18:04
See, you thought yourself into a corner. As I said, be easy on yourself. Life is full of this wackery, sometimes someone else rides the goat, sometimes we do.
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#22 2014-07-18 06:29:33
So, it's back to raccoon fucking then?
That's all very good news apart from the doctor's staff's sucky timing and I'm very glad to hear it. Stay cool.
Last edited by Tall Paul (2014-07-18 08:35:05)
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#23 2014-07-18 08:25:36
Do it all again come Christmastime just to make sure.
The testing not the raccoon pegging.
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#24 2014-07-18 08:34:44
Which pic do you think would make a better banner?
High Street: 50% more raccoon sechs than your regular website
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#25 2014-07-18 12:41:15
Bottom one. It has Footy's look of anticipation of pegging all over it.
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