#1 2007-10-30 03:23:58
Being cute enough to score a chick your own age, and choosing intimacy with someone so far out of your league, she's practically on another plane of existence.
Or a nearby slab.
Anthony Merino, a 24-year-old lab technician, was arrested Sunday after a security guard saw him having sex with a dead 92-year-old woman in the Holy Name Hospital morgue... (source)
OK, so he's the skanky side of Chris Evans ("Fantastic Four," "Cellular") or Bret Harrison ("The Loop," "Reaper"), but I'd be his cellmate. As long as he'd first bathe in some lye.
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#2 2007-10-30 11:22:47
For fuck's sake ---===pALEPENIx===--- don't give us your homosexual prison fantasy...give us the security cam footage.
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#3 2007-10-31 00:03:24
Love is tobacco snot.
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#4 2007-10-31 08:21:37
Love is...
A ball gag.
What safe word ?
Felch
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#5 2007-10-31 10:48:57
Akkima found his MySpace, and is having great fun with the pictures.
Hold on, I'll get 'em. She is sooooo fucking funny, you gotta see them.
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#7 2007-10-31 11:37:15
It looks to me like his cell phone is the next thing he's going to fuck (before they take it away in jail).
After that, I assume he's going to get very familiar with anal sex.
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#8 2007-10-31 11:50:33
Today his "BFF" wrote a comment on his myspace:
"BFF man...I know there is something fishy about this and I have known you all my life (15+ years). I'm going to do what I can to get down to the real truth!!"
Yes, because he OBVIOUSLY was framed.
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#9 2007-10-31 12:11:42
I would have expected this sort of behaviour from a pasty fat white guy, but not from a guy who obviously goes to the gym. He should be able to get any fatty he wants...
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#10 2007-10-31 12:58:34
The sunglasses one should say "Because I fuck dead people."
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#11 2007-10-31 14:44:02
sofaking wrote:
Akkima found his MySpace, and is having great fun with the pictures.
Fukkin' phantabulous. The "raining Playboy bunny logos," his musical choice, and the relentless narcissism of his image gallery all point to such incredible over-compensation. I'd say, if he isn't already batting for my team, then he will be after the 18-24 mos. for interfering with remains. Hell, if he was formerly such a fine, upstanding JV footballer--and Mommy 'n' Daddy can afford a real lawyer--he'll probably get probation.
As for the "Dark TRON" costume and other assorted drag, a good friend once told me, "If you don't like the outfit, take it off." Wheee!
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#12 2007-10-31 14:46:29
Are you sure you want someone batting for your team that sticks his bat in old leather gloves?
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#13 2007-10-31 14:52:00
Roger_That wrote:
Are you sure you want someone batting for your team that sticks his bat in old leather gloves?
We're not rooting for him. Pale is just stating the obvious, even if ol' necroboy hasn't quite figured it out yet.
Speaking of which, anyone hear from Queerboy?
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#14 2007-10-31 15:30:53
What he said.
Although I do see one Asian girlfriend and several adult bookstore visits in his near future. What is with some people that they'll do practically anything--up to and including hagbag necropussy--to avoid admitting they're gay? It's not like he's even in East Bumblefuck somewhere. He's lived in both the Bronx and Jersey. His type probably went down to the West Village (with all his upcoming "character witnesses") to get drunk and "shout at queers" from the tinted windows of their pimped-out, glitter-purple Scions.
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#15 2007-11-03 16:34:22
Seems like the national media are always a day late and a dollar short. The comments are, of course, priceless.
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#16 2007-11-03 16:37:38
Why do you reopen old shit?
What is your ego like?
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#17 2007-11-03 16:44:09
pALEPHx wrote:
Seems like the national media are always a day late and a dollar short. The comments are, of course, priceless.
The penetration of a newly dead body with seminal fluid is not respect.
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#18 2007-11-03 17:08:08
MSG Tripps wrote:
Why do you reopen old shit?
What is your ego like?
"Because I can," and "Healthier than yours, obviously." Wednesday is old, dear? I'm sorry. It seems I have totally blown my commitment to keep things fresh on a twice-daily basis for you. Please address your complaints here.
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#19 2007-11-03 17:10:59
Please address your complaints here.
Not in your life time.
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#20 2007-11-03 17:16:33
MSG Tripps wrote:
Please address your complaints here.
Not in your life time.
Well then, Dhalling, how about in yours? Seeing as your lifespan is ostensably going to be much shorter than Pale's, unless he takes up shooting up Drano.
You take the cake:
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#21 2007-11-03 17:20:45
I only snort. It was only that once. I can totally control it.
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#22 2007-11-03 17:24:08
pALEPHx wrote:
I only snort. It was only that once. I can totally control it.
Why am I picturing you shaving off your eyebrows like Bob Geldof in The Wall as you say that?
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#23 2007-11-03 18:40:21
Roger_That wrote:
Are you sure you want someone batting for your team that sticks his bat in old leather gloves?
That is a GREAT fucking line. ha
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#24 2007-11-04 10:33:12
Akkima's at it again.
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#25 2007-11-04 10:52:18
Your friend Akkima is a genius.
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#26 2007-11-04 11:04:58
George Orr wrote:
Your friend Akkima is a genius.
She truly is. And she's totally hot to boot!
The antithesis of Emily Strange.
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#27 2007-11-04 13:34:59
Dude, what the news won't tell you is that the old dead lady was a total cocktease. Like every time he'd come into the room, she'd just lay there, right where he could see her, just waiting for him to do something, and then when he'd look over there she'd make that face, you know, the "fuck me" face. Old bag had it coming.
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#29 2007-11-04 22:36:56
pALEPHx wrote:
Akkima's pic with Tojo's commentary. Works for me. Here's s'more necropussy fer y'all.
I dunno...she still looks fat to me. I'd like to see her get down to 10 or 15 lbs. BUT - I want her tits to remain the same size. Wouldn't that be a cracking good fuck!
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#31 2007-11-05 03:37:41
LeagueofBastards@Hotmail
I posted the original source for these 'toons on Cruel (Feeling shunned by the "collective" yet, Pale?) a few years ago and it wasn't the League Of Bastards. Not much pisses me off more than seeing some talentless fuck attempting to take credit for somebody else's work. I'd send them a nasty e-mail were it not for the fact that I require another glass of brandy and need to roll a cigarette.
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#32 2007-11-05 15:05:56
Merino's fiance would have attended Friday's hearing, Grant said, but she had suffered an emotional breakdown.
So does that mean the wedding's off?
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#33 2007-11-05 18:21:51
Decadence wrote:
(Feeling shunned by the "collective" yet, Pale?)
I think I got that out of my system yesterday afternoon, thanks.
headkicker_girl wrote:
So does that mean the wedding's off?
I think "emotional breakdown" is court-speak for "the bitch done flipped out on his shit." That he lied to get in there and hastily scrubbed down his junk is fairly incontrovertible evidence of premeditation and guilt. Making up excuses why the GF can't be there and whining about his parents' physical ills won't really help.
The act obviously "shocks the conscience" (and pisses off the family of the deceased), but other than being a total gross-out, where do you think the punishment phase is going to head? I figure, if his lawyer's got a firing synapse, he'll drag this out long enough for the Ick Factor to mellow and cut a deal for 5 years probation, about $10K to the family, and it will fade away. He'll never work in that field again (or a five-state radius, doing much of anything), unless there's a new market for "sleeping MILF" porn.
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