#1 2012-06-05 10:23:12

Fair warning, this only barely made it to my "worth posting" list. But if you find internet dramas entertaining, read on.

Scrolling through this whole mess is what motivated me to find this forum, since it reminded me of the old days on the Yahoo group with Barry/Sheila and that Smurgles lady.

This mostly centers around the web site "fairfaxunderground", which is an open-to-anyone Internet forum for residents of Fairfax County VA. It's a little bit like the old Cruel forum.. but crueler, with a heavy dash of very racist local redneck posters, and high school kids looking to talk shit about their classmates or teachers. Basically it's a "snitch and bitch" message board in the same vein as Topix.

So this story began with some african-american fellow from Trinidad or something attending an after school event at Carl Sandburg Middle School. He was so happy about the event that he started dancing in the parking lot; which freaked out Mr. Psycho Helicopter Dad a.k.a. "2concerned". 2concerned proceeds to call 911 (I'd love to hear that tape: "There are DANCING BLACK MEN in the school! DANCING BLACK MEN!!!"), the cops show up and question the dancing dude, they decide it's not a problem and leave.

According to 2concerned they then went inside, the event began, and during the finale the dancing guy jumps up on stage and joins the kids in dancing around. This puts 2concerned into total freak out mode. He grabs his daughter, flees the school, and then calls the principal, who decides it's not a big deal and doesn't do anything about it. Not good enough to 2concerned, who then calls the school board, the governors office, and the state attorney general, since dancing black men are clearly the greatest threat that the children of Fairfax County have ever faced.

2concerned creates an account at Fairfaxunderground, and starts this thread:

http://www.fairfaxunderground.com/forum … 13359.html

which if you choose to scroll through it, starts out with 2concerned sounding almost reasonable but then gradually slipping into a sleep-deprived mania. And that becomes a problem, because at some point the staff at the school found the thread, and start freaking out as 2concerned posts his descent into madness. Apparently they were particularly freaked out by some 4chan photoshop he posted of a suicidal kitten with a gun.

So the people at the school call in the cavalry. The school goes on lockdown, and 2concerned, who had previously posted his full name, address, and phone number to Fairfaxunderground, gets a visit from Fairfax County's finest in body armor and Heckler Koch MP5's.

http://forthunt.patch.com/articles/carl … tc00000001

After interrogating 2concerned, the cops decide he's just a crank and leave. And with that, 2concerned decides that this is all part of a grand conspiracy to destroy him, brought on by "Gordon Blvd" who is one of the regular posters on the forum, and Principal Yarborough from the school.

So he starts up these two threads:

http://www.fairfaxunderground.com/forum … 19108.html

http://www.fairfaxunderground.com/forum … 21849.html

Somewhere in here he also gets served with a restraining order barring him from school property.

Which brings us to today. I have to admit I've been checking the threads. As I write this I don't think 2concerned has slept in three days. He literally posts all night and most of the day. He's been trying to "out" Gordon Blvd for the last 48 hours or so, since he has now determined that GB is at the center of all corruption and vice in the entire county.

It's like watching a train wreck in super slo mo, it takes a week to play the entire sequence rather than 30 seconds. Anyway... (checking) it's still going on right now, as I'm writing this the guy has been up since at least 8pm yesterday, and he's posting as of a couple of minutes ago.

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#2 2012-06-05 15:11:03

Tits or GTFO.

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#3 2012-06-05 15:34:43

Oh look, WCL is jealous that someone penned a longer post than his.

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#4 2012-06-05 15:46:59

Emmeran wrote:

Oh look, WCL is jealous that someone penned a longer post than his.

Tits or GTFO.

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#5 2012-06-05 16:10:37

http://www.favonius.com/furzefield/birds/tits.jpg

fuckin' Canucks.

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#6 2012-06-05 17:08:32

Thanks, X...(fap fap fap)...it gets pretty lonely up here in the GWN...a pretty bird is appreciated from time-to-time...fortunately there's no biblical proscription that covers spilling one's seed on the snow.

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#7 2012-06-06 08:39:58

As a former Fairfax county resident, I know the archtype all too well. Concerned with their little emperors to the exclusion of all else, helicoptering around, ready to launch drone missiles at the slightest provocation or whenever they feel like everyone else isn't treating their little Son of Heaven with the grace and deference that they believe he/she deserves.

Don't worry, she'll be banging that Trinidadians son by 10th grade and 2concerned will likely go into apoplectic shock, never to recover fully.

Fairfax county is one of the most racially and culturally integrated communities I have ever liven in with different nationalities well represented at every economic level and usually behaving in a perfectly civilized manner most of the time. (ie: fnord would hate it) But it's exactly that kind of freedom and support that is a little too "real" for some people. On a typically Upper Middle Class Liberal basis you may be 100% fine with the *concept* that Koreans eat dogs, but when they catch their neighbor grilling one in his back yard it freaks them right the fuck out. 2concerned has probably never danced in public with less than a 6 pack on board, so his cultural frame of reference is shattered when confronted with someone doing so.

Add that if he has that kind of free time to be trolling the boards night and day he is either a) recently laid off from his job, b) a stay at home Dad or c) a GS employee with 2-3 solid hours of work to do every week.

In my experience he will find something else to aggravate his OCD and he will be on to that shortly.

</armchair psychoanalysis >

Last edited by GooberMcNutly (2012-06-06 08:40:19)

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#8 2012-06-06 09:00:51

GooberMcNutly wrote:

c) a GS employee with 2-3 solid hours of work to do every week.

Where is Cat Hater hiding herself these days?

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#9 2012-06-06 14:28:34

GooberMcNutly wrote:

Fairfax county is one of the most racially and culturally integrated communities I have ever liven in with different nationalities well represented at every economic level and usually behaving in a perfectly civilized manner most of the time.

Boy you aren't kidding. I actually enjoy it. You can get some awesome ethnic food here.

An update: as of about 1:30PM EDT 2concerned now has ANOTHER school on lockdown. He was posting all kinds of crazy threatening shit about his kids' school, basically daring people to call the cops on him. He seems to insinuate that he'll sue anyone who calls the cops on him, but frankly he is so nucking futs now it's difficult to tell what he's talking about.

He's also talking about the strangers who are hanging out in front of his house.. gee I wonder who THAT is.

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#10 2012-06-06 15:40:26

Undead Minion wrote:

GooberMcNutly wrote:

Fairfax county is one of the most racially and culturally integrated communities I have ever liven in with different nationalities well represented at every economic level and usually behaving in a perfectly civilized manner most of the time.

Boy you aren't kidding. I actually enjoy it. You can get some awesome ethnic food here.

An update: as of about 1:30PM EDT 2concerned now has ANOTHER school on lockdown. He was posting all kinds of crazy threatening shit about his kids' school, basically daring people to call the cops on him. He seems to insinuate that he'll sue anyone who calls the cops on him, but frankly he is so nucking futs now it's difficult to tell what he's talking about.

He's also talking about the strangers who are hanging out in front of his house.. gee I wonder who THAT is.

Absolutely fascinating. Do you knit?

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#11 2012-06-06 15:54:35

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

Undead Minion wrote:

GooberMcNutly wrote:

Fairfax county is one of the most racially and culturally integrated communities I have ever liven in with different nationalities well represented at every economic level and usually behaving in a perfectly civilized manner most of the time.

Boy you aren't kidding. I actually enjoy it. You can get some awesome ethnic food here.

An update: as of about 1:30PM EDT 2concerned now has ANOTHER school on lockdown. He was posting all kinds of crazy threatening shit about his kids' school, basically daring people to call the cops on him. He seems to insinuate that he'll sue anyone who calls the cops on him, but frankly he is so nucking futs now it's difficult to tell what he's talking about.

He's also talking about the strangers who are hanging out in front of his house.. gee I wonder who THAT is.

Absolutely fascinating. Do you knit?

Yeah I know it's a bit weaksauce. I have some better things to post later.

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#12 2012-06-28 22:42:23

Eli

My name is Eli and I enjoyed reading this thread!

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#13 2012-06-28 22:43:21

Eli

My name is Eli and Conie takes it in the Butt Hut!

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#14 2012-06-28 22:46:28

Eli

My name is Eli and I am new here.  I come from the far off gardens of Fairfax .  Frolicking with the purple deer and yellow daisies.  I enjoy eating red & white toadstools and dancing with children pretending to be a black man.  Don't tread on me, San Francisco.

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#15 2012-06-28 22:47:48

Eli

I am Eli.  I will not add no site for no hotlinking.  I eat hot links for breakfast.  They give me gas.  Damn Hilscher Farms...

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#16 2012-06-28 23:44:24

My name is banjo and I think Eli is super cool. I bet you are quite the lady's man, Mr. Butt hut.  Maybe one day I could be so honored as to hang out with you and knock back a sixer. You could tell me stories of all of the female conquests that you've had and how many huts you have busted.  My gut feeling is that you are really Keanu Reeves or MAYBE even Sebastian Cabot (fingers crossed) and you are just yanking our chains with your juvenile hilarity.You see, the other High-Streeter's aren't that smart and will probably think that this post is from a nineteen year old virgin who has never seen a butt hut (outside of his step-fathers) but not me. BTW, I only throw out the "super cool" title when I KNOW that a cat's worthy. Mr. "Coni ain't walking right for a for a week because of you"  are super cool, my friend.

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#17 2012-06-29 00:07:13

Eli

Yea, I ate the coliflower cotton candy peanuts.  You smell of coriander minced meat pumpkin pie.  Back down uneasy leavened bread for it is I, Eli the Enchanted.

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#18 2012-06-29 00:33:48

Eli wrote:

Yea, I ate the coliflower cotton candy peanuts.  You smell of coriander minced meat pumpkin pie.  Back down uneasy leavened bread for it is I, Eli the Enchanted.

Nail meet head. I do smell of coriander minced meat pumpkin pie but the coloreds think differently.  For some reason they think I smell like hot dog water, not coriander.

Hmmmm. I think that we have something here. With your hut busting skills (not to mention being enchanted) and my Keurig coffee maker, we can be quite the team.  You can go fuck the shit out of those hot dog water smelling mother fuckers while i sit back and enjoy a nice cup of joe.

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#19 2012-06-29 01:20:53

Eli

My name is Banjo and I approved this Message.

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#20 2012-06-29 02:11:45

That escalated quickly.

Banjo, you may be fighting a bot.

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#21 2012-06-29 02:42:47

opsec wrote:

That escalated quickly.

Banjo, you may be fighting a bot.

Let's try the Turing test on it.

Hey Eli - break codes? Suck dick?

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#22 2012-06-29 19:02:39

My name is George and this is a fine thing to log onto and into on a fine Friday.  My acquaintances tell me I smell like WD40 and Twizzlers.  I have never busted a hut but I once nudged a hogan.

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#23 2012-06-29 19:52:45

George Orr wrote:

My acquaintances tell me I smell like WD40 and Twizzlers.

https://cruelery.com/sidepic/lubricalosmetales.jpg


Sopping illustration.

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

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